Solus.

queerrobbiereyes:

advanced-procrastination:

thebrooklyninenine:

because no amount of gifs could do this scene justice

“Yass queen” with a completely emotionless face will always be the best line of the whole series.

This is so advanced tho.

(via ruinedchildhood)

bextheboo:

linaisbluepancake:

yourwisehistory:

Jason ‘I like to throw axes at bullseye’ momoa

(via ruinedchildhood)

egberts:

everyone talkin about seasonal depression hitting after halloween, I got nothing to worry about. my seasonal depression is year round baby. three six five

(via smolbambiii)

just-shower-thoughts:

The 2nd amendment is about the “Right to Bear Arms”, not just firearms. Therefore, swords are protected by the 2nd amendment

(via clairdren)

The bardic meta ultimatum

yourplayersaidwhat:

Our wonderful troupe approaches the first door in our second dungeon.

Dm: the door cannot be opened until you defeat the first boss.

Me, Asair Tryclatyce, Halfling Bard: so we can’t open it or unlock it right.

Dm: correct…? (Trepidation in her voice because of legends of bard shenanigans)

Me: ayo, ima seduce the door.

Dm: no, you cannot do this. Not yet. Please, dear Gods above, let this fucking fail please. Roll charisma.

Me: hello there sexy, I see you’ve got 12 planks of wood, want one more? (Winks and rolls)

(The entire table holds their breath)

(Nat 20, not to mention my +5 charisma bonus)

Dm: ……. (faceplants the table) why must you do this. (Throws hands in air) FUCKING FINE YOU NOW HAVE A FUCKING DOOR WHO IS INFATUATED WITH YOU. (pauses momentarily then laughs) due to your overwhelming ah… shall we say… appeal? The door is now obsessed with you. You have a yandere door who follows you around and kills ANYONE YOU FLIRT WITH IN ONE HIT YOU STUPID FUCKING BARD HOW’S THAT FOR A PLOT TWIST?

Me: that’s chill, I can work with it.

We proceed to get the high level loot inside the room and when we reach bosses, I flirt with them and the door immediately kills the boss.

Dm: ….what have I done.

(Source: yourplayersaidwhat)

just-shower-thoughts:

As a blacksmith, cutting yourself with a knife you just made, must be painful and probably makes you feel proud at the same time.

thor-20:

smarmyanarchist:

stuckuptumblercunt:

smarmyanarchist:

smarmyanarchist:

god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face

and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT

Villain Origin Story

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

canon.

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport

(via ruinedchildhood)

How To Seduce a Barbarian

yourplayersaidwhat:

We are battling a group of orc warriors defending a temple. We have taken heavy damage and our Druid was being targeted for threatening the orcs.

DM: Druid, you see one orc, the one who’s mother you claimed to bed, is coming at you. And with one mighty swing of its giant club (nat 20) ouch- hits you in the face. Dislocating your jaw, and leaving you with only one hit point left.

Druid OOC: Okay kiddy gloves are coming off! I cast cure wounds to set my jaw back in place then cast erupt earth on these fucks.

(All the remaining orcs rolled low)

DM; Damn, in a sudden rush of fury you all see Druid grab the sides of his face and snap his jaw back into place. Then, with a blood curdling scream, cause the ground to erupt beneath the orcs. Spires of stone shoot out of the earth, impaling the orcs one by one limb by limb. The battle ends with probably the most gruesome display of nature’s fury any of you have ever seen.

Druid OOC: I turn to the group, still covered in blood and bruises, and smile.

Barbarian OOC: I cream my pants automatically, and begin to question why.

DM: And, for the first time ever, our womanizing Barbarian questions his sexuality.

Rogue: Omg I ship it already!

(Source: yourplayersaidwhat)

mistermustachiogmc:

wishem:

qualitydoggo:

brendaonao3:

sensei-wrong:

symbiote-spideypool:

peter and wade are fighting side by side and when peter runs out of web fluid, he grabs a gun off wade’s belt and wade has this transcendent moment of i’m going to watch spiderman shoot my gun at a real live bad guy

but peter just fucking throws it at a bad guy’s face and knocks him out cold

The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.

Pretty sure I’ve read this comic

@wishem please omg just a quick doodle or something even

I am sorry Cable looks like that

Don’t you dare apologize for perfection.

(via thesuperheroesnetwork)